Rules for Writers

By Ronald F. Abler

February 2000

(posted with permission from Ron Abler)

1.    Verbs has to agree with their subjects

2.    Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3.    And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4.    Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

5.    Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

6.    Be more or less specific.

7.    Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

8.    Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

9.    No sentence fragments.

10.  Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

11.  One should NEVER generalize.

12.  Don't use no double negatives.

13.  Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

14.  Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

15.  The passive voice is to be ignored.

16.  Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

17.  DO NOT use exclamation points and all caps to emphasize!!!

18.  Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

19.  Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

20.  Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

21.  Eliminate quotations.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.  Tell me what

 you know."

22.  If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times:  Resist hyperbole; not one writer

 in a million can use it correctly.

23.  Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

24.  Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

25.  Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

26.  Who needs rhetorical questions?

27.  Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

28.  Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words,

 to their antecedents.

29.  Be careful to use the rite homonym.

30.  Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

31.  Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.